MOVED: We Like Doing It Just As Much As You Do!

This particular entry is dedicated to the fellas, but the ladies can come and co-sign. Before any of you read any further, I just want to point out that I truly believe that though some men might read this and be like, "you know what? You're right!" I also am almost 100% positive that none of them will actually use these words in real life practice. As a homegirl (I have many strictly platonic friendships with men [and yes, it is possible]) I have given advice to men on how women work, what we think, how to pick out a good one, how to get rid of a bad one...all to have it go in one ear and out the other. And so with that being said...

Today's topic is entitled, "SEX: We Like Doing It Just As Much As You Do!"
This topic was inspired and brought to you by the author of the blog "JAYDESTASY" which can be found right over there ----> under the "FOLLOW ME" twitter gadget, under "Kiah*Boo Thinks You Should Check These Out Too."

So fellas, how many times have you gotten a phone call from a female you fcuked asking for you to come over after you were just there last week and you felt pressured? You told her that you couldn't come through and she seemed disappointed. She called the next day or some other day asking the same thing. You explain that you aren't looking for committment and you can't give her the time she requests. She explains to you that she really just wants you to do a drive-by. Ya know, just drive by, give her the business and then you can go about your merry way. You say something like, "yeah, whatever," in your head and still assume she wants more than what she just told you she wanted. You assume she really just wants you to come over and watch a movie or father her kids...whatever crazy ideas y'all come up with that completely contradict what the FCUK she just told you. Why is that? Since when were men afraid of pussy?

Here's the problem. You're not reading the signs. You're too busy talking to other knuckleheaded dudes about how "Women are unstable creatures! Women are just too emotional. Women can't handle their feelings. Women don't know what they want." GRRRR! Well I'm here to tell you the truth, brotha! If a woman says she just wants to fcuk you, GODDAMMIT, SHE JUST WANTS TO FCUK YOU!!

Hello! Do you know how many times women are called "hos, whores, sluts, smuts, tricks, etc." just because they fcuked the guy too fast or before getting taken out on a date? BILLIONS! So why would it even make sense for a woman to outright tell you she only wants you for sexual purposes if she really wants to make you her husband? That's right, it doesn't make sense. Doh!

She's making a booty call, you numbskull! It's when people get together to have sex. Sometimes they'll stay the night but they should be out very early in the morning. There's no making breakfast. Cuddling and heavy kissing (on the mouth) are rare. That stuff you save for your significant other. This call usually occurs from 11pm to 3am (because there's nothing worse than the 4am call after you've given up and gone to bed).

If she calls you and asks you to come over, and the last time you came over, y'all fcuked, what makes you think today will be any different? I really believe that the fellas think this way because they just do not realize that women actually like sex! The mere thought of women liking sex just as much as men do just boggles their minds. I'll give you one more thought that is just my personal opinion, but uh...I'll even venture to say that women like sex MORE than men do. Women can have sex with someone who doesn't make them achieve orgasm and still call it enjoyable. Let a man get to fcuking and not nut. He'll tell you the pussy was garbage! The only thing that maybe stops women from being so vocal about it and what stops us from being such hounds about it is the fact that we'd be called all the whorish names in the book if we acted toward sex as men do. And since every man wants to marry the classy good girl, we keep our mouths and our legs closed.

Moral of the story, if the woman tells you she just wants you to come over and give her the business, don't worry. That's all she wants.

Baby Mama Drama, Part 2: Dos and Don'ts During her Pregancy

So she's pregnant. What do you do now? Well first you have to make that decision, to keep or not to keep? If you ask me, if you know that chick is a nut, don't let her be a mother. She'll just teach your child to be the same way. But I know I shouldn't condone abortion or tell you to kill your child. That's not my decision to make. But if you don't approve of abortion or she doesn't approve, be prepared to be a real parent. It's not a game.

Now, if you are in a relationship with your new Baby's Mother (we'll refer to Baby's Mother as BM from here on out), well great. If you love her and you are going to make it work, awesome. This is the easiest way at Stage 2 to avoid Baby Mama Drama (we'll refer to Baby Mama Drama as BMD from here on out).

If you are not in a relationship and do not want to be in a relationship with your new BM, there's just one thing that you must not do. DO NOT, I repeat, DO NOT FUCK HER! Everyone knows that while women are pregnant, their hormones and emotions go into overdrive. She's thinking about the future and her child's life. The number one thing she wants right now is for the three of you to be one big happy family. Fucking her will only tease her. She'll think you like her enough to try to stay for the sake of the child. You are leading her on! So just don't do it. Even after the birth of the child, these feelings will linger. The best thing to do is to go find someone else to fuck if you know you don't want a relationship with this woman.

Now, I know you might be saying, "But, YHG, the pussy is so good," or "she's cool. She knows the deal." I hear you, but most women are going to change emotionally during the pregnancy. If you are still going to be stubborn and fuck her, you have to have proper fucking-but-not-loving etiquette. Don't kiss her on the mouth in public. This goes for any casual sexual relationship. You must draw the lines and let her know her place. I know she's carrying your child and that might make you want to be extra nice to her. You want to take her out and make her feel good. But you will only be leading her on by doing this. Do not take her out on dates. Don't kiss her in public. Don't hold her hand. You should just stick to late night fucking. You can talk to her on the phone or see her from time to time, but the lines must be drawn and never crossed. If you lead her on, when the baby is born, she will expect the same treatment and when she sees someone else might be getting that same treatment too...after your BM has carried your 8 pound kid for 9 months of miserable torture, she's going to go nuts.

Now what you must realize is that she's not only going to get upset, like she may have done with you in the past...she's going to get ANGRY! You don't want your window busted out of your car, BM threatening your new girlfriend so much that she leaves you, or BM not letting you see your child with out drama and police. Your BM will most likely do these things if you break her heart during the sensitive times -- during and after pregnancy.

Daddy, I suggest you lay very low under the radar. Of course be a good father. Check up on BM to make sure the bun is cooking well in that oven. Just make sure you don't cross any lines and you will be fine.

Baby Mama Drama, Part 1: Prevention.

This entry was brought to you and inspired by last week...the most horrible week of my entire life.

Lesson #1. For Goodness Sakes, put a condom on!
Now I know that sometimes accidents happen but we all know that most of the time the accident happened because of your own stupid actions. So before you tell me that the condom broke, please retrace your steps. The number one reason condoms break is due to it not being put in correctly. Get those air bubbles out of there. If you're not sure how, ask your friend or a doctor. It might be searchable on youtube for all I know. Let me go check...

This looks like a good one. Fast-Forward to 3:50 for instructions, but the whole video is pretty informative.


And hey, this video mentions to put a drop of lube in the condom for extra comfort. I hear it also makes extra pleasure...as if you were raw dogging. If you think condoms are so unbearable, just try that. Let me know if you felt much a difference and how was the experience.

Okay, so now your condom is on and everything is cool...but you just had one left over from the 3-pack you had last time. I suggest you have at least three condoms on hand before each bang session. If you're strapped for cash or condoms and only have one, well you just be extra careful because that's all you have.

I also suggest to any ladies reading, keep your own 3 pack in the purse. You know how some of these guys will purposely make no point to buy condoms so that they can be like, "Oh my bad. I didn't get any," and then because they've already spat the "I just wanna taste you" line and you're all hot and ready...chances are you're gonna be like, "Okay, but just this one time." We all know that ONE TIME is all it takes to get pregnant or worse, STDs!

So you say you and your lady are in a serious relationship. She's on birth control. Are you sure you trust her like that? I'm saying she might be cool and trustworthy and everything, but what if she is forgetful? Ever think of that? Or maybe you are relying on that trusty "pull out" method. Pulling out doesn't always work. Women can get pregnant from pre-cum. C'mon guys. They've been teaching you this since middle school!

If you are still too stubborn or on some old, "I can't cum with a condom on" stuff, please choose your sexual partner with the utmost caution, as if you are going to marry her. Technically, if she gets pregnant, you form a legally binding connection with her for at least 18 years as if you were in a marriage. But it seems like some of you pick the CRAZIEST chicks to bear your children and then blame it on an accident that happened. Thus, setting yourself up for the troubles of BABY MAMA DRAMA!

She's Your GIRLFRIEND, Whether You Call Her That or Not!

Today's topic was inspired by Princess as well. Thanks, Princess!

Princess has been dating this dude...we'll call him, "Doc." Doc has had his eye on Princess since he first saw her. He finally made his move and she obliged. The two of them have since been dating. It's been about a month and a half. The couple moved pretty quickly, having many dates, public appearances, meeting the friends and roommates, etc. But Doc is afraid of committment, obviously. Doc treats Princess like a girlfriend. They kiss in the bar, she spends the night on weeknights, they hold hands and everything.

When Doc and Princess go to Doc's most frequented bar, Doc's friends always address Princess as "Doc's girlfriend." The sad part is that Princess wants to be Doc's girlfriend but Doc doesn't want to call Princess his girlfriend. Instead he wants to act like he is in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship but not REALLY be in one. Doc probably just wants the freedom to bury his bone in other places and get away with it.

The thing is, Doc will not get away with it! Princess will be hurt and leave.

Fellas, if you treat her like she's your girlfriend, then she IS your girlfriend, whether you call her that or not. Here's why. If you treat a girl like your girlfriend, her emotions will think she is your girlfriend. So when you go boink the jump off from down the street and your main girl finds out, she's going to be truly hurt, betrayed, confused and angry because these are emotions...and the emotions think they are in a relationship.

The best way to avoid this is to just be honest...like I told you in first post. Let the woman know what the deal is from jump. She might be down for just fucking. You don't even have to do all that taking her out on dates and making her feel special. Why even bother with that if you aren't trying to win her heart for a relationship? All you're doing is wasting time by putting that extra work in.

Now if you're one of those dudes who does this on purpose because you want freedom but you don't want her to fuck around, well then you're just a selfish bastard! Make up your mind. Either you want a relationship, committment and all that goes with it, or you wanna be single and play the game. Don't pull anyone along on a string. Would you want that done to you? Don't think so...

So what do you want, man? Jump-off? Fuck-buddy? Friend with Benefits? Girlfriend? Decide and let her know.

You ain't gotsta lie, Craig!

You ain't gotsta lie, Craig! You gotta stop lying, fellas. I know you're looking at me like, "I have to lie!" but you don't. You ain't gotsta lie, Craig. You must stop."Why?" you ask? Because you're HORRIBLE at it! All my 25 years of life, I've never met a good male liar. The best liars are females. Yeah, I said it. We're the best at it. Do you notice that most of the time it is MEN who are labeled as "dogs" and "cheaters?" You guys know just as well as I do that men aren't the only ones cheating. Both sexes cheat at about the same rate. The difference is that men are the only ones getting caught. Maybe it is a part of our feline tendencies, but we rarely have a difficult time getting away with cheating. But you guys are getting caught left and right. So please, do everyone a favor and stop lying.



I believe the reason men lie is because they think they have to. I'm here today to tell you that's not true! I, myself, as well as many of my female friends have at one time in our lives been "the other woman." We meet a guy and we are just smitten over him. He then tells us he has a girlfriend and we explain that we don't mind. We'll continue to try to make it work, even singing at the club blissfully and truthfully..."I got your man and you can't do anything...ABOUT IT!"





I'll tell you a little story about me, for instance. I used to talk to this dude...we'll call him, "Homeboy." Homeboy and I met on blackplanet back in the day...(don't laugh)...had a cute spades game date, followed by a "why don't you come over and watch movies at my house" date...which of course turned to "baby do you want a massage?"

(start at 2:42)



...followed thereafter by the killer of them all: "I just want to taste you."

SIDENOTE: Fellas...that is the line that will almost guarantee you get the business today! If a chick is resisting giving up the panties but you can kinda tell she still wants it but she's just trying to be good...you hit her with the old, "I don't want to make you do anything you don't want to do. I just want to taste you." 9 times out 10, you're getting the cookies.

So anyway, back to the story... So the "taste you" line got me and next thing you know my clothes were balled up on Homeboy's floor and he was invading my womb to Ginuwine's 100% album...a great album by the way...





Homeboy did a wonderful job...I mean...WONDERFUL! Now some time passes and he gets this girlfriend and has a child with her. Now Homeboy is living with his baby's mother, new daughter and the BM's other child from a previous relationship. Homeboy has tons of baggage...but did that stop me from still letting him invade my womb? Of course not. Good dick is very hard to come by these days, and good dick accompanied by excellent head game almost doesn't exist. Homeboy doesn't call as much as I'd like him to because of the baggage, but anytime he does call, I'm meeting him...anywhere -- the woods, the back of a school, a packed mall parking lot, a friend's bathroom...you name it.

Before you go calling me a hoe, remember, I'm telling you what your girl won't....the TRUTH!

The moral of the story, stop lying. There's no need.